A Drop in the Ocean
by TheSomerholic
Summary: Damon loves Elena. There's simply no denying it. He loves her with his whole heart. Elena knows she has feelings for Damon. But will she ever admit them?
1. Chapter 1

"It's been a month and two weeks since Stefan fled, 6 hours, 14 minutes and 52 seconds. I never thought that I could miss someone this much, my heart aches for him." -I wish I was able to write this here and mean it, with my whole soul, I want to feel this way. But I can't, I _don't_. It's nice to have you to talk to again, journal. I really have missed you. You're the only one who I can tell everything to and not worry about being judged. The only one who can't breathe a word of how I really feel. And I need to get some things out of my system. Things about… Damon. It has been… different ever since Stefan left, he's been avoiding all of my calls. He's, detached-more so than normal I mean. I've gone to check in on him several times and he is always… drunk. Damn Bourbon. I'm starting to get really worried.

"I really aught to compel myself someone to bring me more Bourbon," Damon muttered to himself, snickering at the idea as he poured the last few drops of his drink into his mouth. He got up from his favorite black leather chair that he had imported some decades ago, probably soon after he and… Stefan had the place built, he recalled. Tipsily, he walked over the liquor bar and frowned, "All outta whiskey."

He knew he didn't need anymore, he was plenty drunk. It was just that he couldn't risk sobriety. He couldn't let it all back in, the betrayal, the emotion… his humanity.

Damon forced himself to stop thinking that way. Everything's ok, he told himself. When in all honest truth, he knew that everything wasn't ok. He wanted his brother back in Mystic Falls, Klaus dead, and Elena-he just wants her to be happy. Whatever that may mean for her. Damon let out a sigh as the doorbell rang, it's classical hum ringing in his ears much more loudly than it should, due to his intoxicated state.

"Come in." Damon said plainly. Not necessarily thrilled at the idea of company right now. He sat back down in his chair as Elena walked into the living room.

"Why have you been avoiding my calls? I've been... worried." Elena said, angry yet hesitant, unsure of what Damon's answer would be.

"I don't like phones anymore, they tend to... disappoint me." Damon said, sarcastically.

"Really Damon!" Elena said, taking this situation much more seriously than Damon.

"I've been... busy. Plotting revenge on Klaus. You want to hear what I've come up with? So far, I've narrowed it down to three options-"

"DAMON!" Elena interjected, fed up.

"Ok, fine! You caught me Elena, I didn't want you to see me like this." Damon said, letting the truth out, really wishing he had more Bourbon. "I don't like you to see me so.. _like this_." Damon looked down at himself and then turned away, staring into the crackling fire- how long had that been going? He wiped his hand across his face, only then realizing he hadn't shaved in maybe three days.

I must be a _mess_, he thought.

Elena sighed, "Damon," she said, walking over to him. Pain was evident across her face. "Damon, _look at me._"

She cupped his face in her hands gently turning his head to look at hers. "Do you remember what we decided? We're just going to have to let go, Damon. We _have_ to let him go." A tear went down her cheek.

Damon wiped it away softly and looked into her eyes, they shared a common feeling of emotion that was so evident in both of them, an ultimate, passionate connection.

It was in that moment that they truly let Stefan go.

It was also in that moment that Damon messed things up in only a way that Damon could.

He pulled Elena's face in closer, looking at her lips longingly. She was perfect. In every way. Even in her navy blue flannel-plaid pajama bottoms and miss-matched pink camisole, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

He kissed her. Passionately, hungrily, their chemistry was undeniable. There was no doubting the way they felt about each-

"Damon-Damon! Stop! Ouch! DAMON!" Elena cried out, sounding scared, "Damon! You're drunk!"

"Elena.." Damon said, hurt, confused, desperate.

"It's just too soon Damon. I'm... not there yet." Elena said.

Damon let go of her and in a flash, he was gone.

[page beak]

Elena sat in the chair that Damon had been occupying, it was still warm. She had known that would hurt Damon, but it was true, she wasn't ready to go there. What was she thinking? Ready? Would I ever be ready to go there with _Damon_? I mean, he's _Damon. _Then Elena thought to herself… maybe.

And that thought was all it took to get her mind wandering.


	2. Chapter 2

Damon found himself at the Grill. Aggravated, hurt, and confused, he plopped himself onto a bar stool and motioned the bartender over to him with one quick gesture of his finger. "Just give me that." He tilted his head towards an almost-full bottle of Bourbon as he eyed the lady, compelling her. In the rush, he had left his wallet on the entry table after his visit with Elena and didn't feel like explaining.

Elena.

Why didn't she love him? He knew he was better than his rabbit-sucking, weak, cry-baby of a brother. Damon let out a deep sigh and took a large swig of the Bourbon straight from the bottle. So what was stopping her? He knew he was handsome, there was no denying that. He loves her. He truly _loves_ her. What more could she want? What does she even see in Stefan?

Damon couldn't think about that anymore, letting his mind wander for a moment, he closed his eyes, and in three large gulps, finished the whole bottle of liquor. "Waitress!" Damon smirked tipsily, "I think I need another."

The waitress smiled, almost shyly Damon noted, and passed him another bottle, this one full. "That should do juuuuust fine." He winked at her, Damon enjoyed toying with people. It was one of his favorite forms of amusement. She blushed, and Damon lingered closer, peering into her eyes, "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Allison," she murmured, her breathe staggering slightly as she felt his breathe on her lips.

"Allison.." Damon let the word slowly roll off his tongue, letting it linger for the slightest moment on his lips. "You are _very _pretty, Allison." Damon's lips curled up in a stunning half-smile.

Allison looked down and felt her cheeks burning, despite herself screaming in her head for them not to. She collected herself and looked back up to Damon, who was practically grinning.

"Not tonight, baby." Allison winked, took one last look, and walked away.

Tonight's just not my night, Damon thought angrily. "I need to get out of here." Damon grabbed the bottle of alcohol and was off.

To other adventures.

* * *

><p>Elena checked the time, how long had it been since the whole thing with Damon? She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a sigh.<p>

"That's it." She grabbed her coat and ran out the door. What was happening? When had she started caring so much about what Damon was doing? He was a full-grown man. Well, sort of. He could take care of himself.

But it wasn't that. Elena was worried for him. He seemed genuinely distraught when he had ran off. After… after they kissed.

Elena tried not to think about Damon's feelings for her. It was just too much. She couldn't stand the thought of hurting him, I mean, she did love Stefan, didn't she?

_Maybe that's the problem, _Elena thought bitterly. Then she shook her head, of course she loved Stefan. I mean, he's _Stefan_, the love of my life, he's always been there for me…

Elena sighed. Maybe that just wasn't enough anymore. Right as that thought ran through her head, she pulled into the Salvatore driveway. She walked up the stairs that led to the fancy front doors and walked right inside.

"Damon?" The word echoed off the walls of the mansion-sized home.

No answer. Elena made her way up the classical staircase into Damon's room. It was more amazing than she remembered.

Maybe because the last time she really spent time in there was when she was taking care of Rose. Everything was mahogany. The ceiling, the moldings, the doors that led out to the balcony.

And then there was the bed. It was the largest, most immense bed Elena had ever laid her eyes on. She couldn't begin to imagine how insanely comfortable it was to sleep in.

But Damon wasn't here. And by the looks of it he hasn't even been home since he ran out yesterday. She piddled around his room for a while, taking advantage of his absence. _He has a nice collection of novels_, Elena noted. _I suppose I would, too, if I had been around some 150-odd years._

She tried his cell. Straight to voicemail, of course; he must have it off. Elena kicked the base of one of his bed posts- and immediately regretted it. It was as hard as rock and probably weighed 1,000 pounds.

"Damn it!" She cursed and grabbed her foot. _Won't be doing that again anytime soon._

She hopped to the bed and sat down, all this worrying about Damon had stressed her out and she really could go for nice, hot, soothing bubble-she glanced quickly over to Damon's 5-star modern bathroom, and then out the window to the front of the house.

_Nobody's home, and Damon's, well, _missing. Nobody will mind if I take a short bath.

She walked into his bathroom and examined the extremely contemporary free-standing bathtub. "Wow." It was gorgeous. Breathtaking, actually.

And Elena couldn't resist. She ran a hot bath and found a towel - 400 thread-count, she noticed. She poured in a fair amount of the lavender-chamomile bath soap she found under the sink and got in.

It was so relaxing, just what she needed. She threw her hair up in a high bun and slouched down in the water to her neck. The water was at just that right temperature and the tub caressed her neck perfectly.

Before too long, she started to doze off…

* * *

><p>It must be early evening, there was a light wind and the sun was starting to descend, Damon noted as he woke up.<p>

_Where_ am _I_? He thought, confused. He picked up the liquor bottle, empty. _I must have blacked out._

He stood up and wiped the dirt off his pants, only now taking in his surroundings. He was in the middle of the woods. Close to the actual _falls _of Mystic Falls, because he could hear them. Even without using his vamp senses.

He headed in the direction of people and wound up back in town. He took the familiar route that led him back to his house. Damon sauntered up his stairs, into his room, but something felt off.

He hurried his pace a little and did a once-over of his room once he reached it. Nothing unusual.

He turned his head to the bathroom, and vamp-speeded there in a fraction of a second.

"Elena!" Damon gasped, "Elena, wake up!"

He lifted her slender body out of the tub with equal measures of briskness and tenderness.

"Elena! You can't do this!" Damon panicked, "Not after what I did. Not after how I left."

He laid her down onto the bathroom rug and immediately began CPR. She was naked, which you think would have made it super awkward, but honestly? Damon didn't even take notice.

He was in shock. He was losing the only woman he ever had truly loved.

And it was all his fault.


	3. Chapter 3

Damon put every ounce of himself into it. He grabbed his robe and put it around her while continuing the CPR because he was worried she'd get cold. He put his ear up to her heart and could sense a faint heartbeat.

He let out a relieved laugh.

She was going to be ok.

Elena is alive.

Right then, Elena burst up off the carpet and started choking up water. Damon let her clear her throat and catch her breath before he spoke to her.

"_You scared the _hell_ out of me."_ Damon choked out, trying to remain cool and gathered.

Elena was still heaving, getting the last of the water out of her throat, "I- I'm sorry." She noticed the robe that was wrapped partly around her and pulled it closer, she was shivering. Partly from cold, and partly from shock.

Damon noticed her shivering and without hesitation scooted over to her from his position on the floor, wrapping his arms around her. He immediately felt relax her muscles and lean her back into him.

"Are you okay?" Damon questioned sweetly, obvious worry showing clearly through his trembling voice. He moved one of his hands off her to pull a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

"Not really," Elena shook her head softly. But who could blame her? She had been through so much in her life. She had had one too many near death experiences and this just pushed it over the top.

She started to cry. "I'm sorry, Damon," she apologized as she wiped away a tear, "It's just, I don't know. It's just hard."

Damon frowned, he could not stand the sight of her like this. Not even for a moment. "Come on," he pleaded lightly, "come lay down."

Elena nodded as she tried to stand, but tipped over. She would have fallen-but Damon was already standing behind her and holding her up before she even realized she was falling. He cupped her face and wrinkled up his eyebrows, "Careful there, sweetheart." Damon grinned, "Wouldn't wanna hurt that pretty face of yours."

Elena blushed and wriggled her way out of Damon's grasp. She found herself dumbfounded,_ how does he _do _that? How does he go from letting his guard down, to being _completely_ composed?_

Damon grabbed her hand and pulled her gently over to his bed. He pulled down the covers and motioned for her to get in.

"I'm fine." Elena said in an astonishingly stubborn way for just about dying_._

Damon looked down and smiled wryly, shaking his head before looking up at Elena with total seriousness.

"Get in the bed," He ordered plainly.

Elena crossed her arms and threw her chin up in defiance, "_No_." She actually wanted to get in bed. There was nothing right now that sounded better than curling up in the covers of Damon's fluffy California king-size bed…

But she wouldn't let Damon boss her around like that. She didn't know why.

She just couldn't.

Right then, Damon picked her up. Elena screamed, "DAMON! PUT. ME. DOWN. _RIGHT NOW._" She tried to wriggle out of his arms, but Damon didn't even flinch.

"If you say so." Damon plopped her down onto the bed and pulled the covers over her all in just a fraction of a second, "See? _Was that so bad?" _

Elena didn't answer, instead she scowled and looked away.

Damon sighed and started to walk out of the room when Elena asked, still irritated, "Where are you going?"

Damon turned back around, puzzled, "To get you some tea.." Damon started back down the stairs without waiting for an answer. _Why did Elena care what _I _was doing? Wasn't she mad at me like, 15 seconds ago?_

In all honestly, Elena was just afraid to be alone. She felt… secure, with Damon-oddly enough. There was just _something _about him that she couldn't put her finger on. Something that she didn't understand. That made her curious.

Damon made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. He ruffled through some cabinets and found some green tea bags, threw two cups of water into the microwave, and leaned against the counter waiting for them to heat up.

He started thinking again about that moment upstairs just now, _What could it mean? Why was Elena all of the sudden interested in my whereabouts? _

If she was that upset over him walking out of the room, Damon couldn't _imagine _how upset she was over his disappearance last night. All of the sudden, Damon felt eager to get upstairs, back to Elena.

_In his bed, _Damon smirked widely to himself, but his thoughts were almost instantly interrupted by the three monotonous beeps of the microwave signaling the tea was done.

He pulled the cups out of the microwave, put in a couple scoops of sugar and a squirt of honey in each and headed back upstairs. Damon slowly cracked the door open and peeked his head inside, and of course, Elena was sleeping.

_She is so beautiful, _Damon thought. Every time he looked at her a rush of happiness overtook him.

He walked over to the her side of the bed and leaned over, lightly kissing her forehead as to not wake her up.

Damon only then realized how tired he was, so he set the teas down on the nightstand and crawled into bed.

He looked over at Elena one last time, and let sleep overcome him.


End file.
